This little light of mine...

This little light of mine, I'm gunna let it shine.

This little light of mine, I'm gunna let it shine

This little light of mine, I'm gunna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Most everybody has heard this song before, the main part at least if not all of it.  It is such a simple song, one that we learn at vacation bible school or Sunday school when we are still too small to see the top of the kitchen counter.  So why is it so hard to match our actions to what we are singing about? 

I don't know about you, but it is HARD to let my light shine when I am in an environment that is cynical and mean about anything that might make those around me uncomfortable.  It is so much easier to shine when I am by myself or with a group of friends that I know loves God as much as I do...but God doesn't want us to only shine for ourselves.  What would be the point? He wants us to shine to people who have possibly never seen the result of a person who is filled with the Holy Spirit and not afraid to show it....that is how we witness to others and share the gospel, the good news!

But....its hard, I know, and I would be a hypocrite if I said that I was a bright, shining light in the hallways of my high school right now.  However, I might just start trying to be.

At church today, the pastor mentioned that the paster that was at the church before him used to encourage people to share the gospel with others, and to light a candle when they did to signify that they are spreading the word of God.  He wanted his congregation to make a physical, touchable (though it would hurt) light for everybody to see that signified God....I thought that was cool.

So, I guess its time to stop hiding my light under a bushel (or in my bedroom) and get out there to share it with others by being positive and more Christ-like.

If you really knew me...

A speaker came to our school today to teach us about sportsmanship or something equally irrelevant to my life, and for the second half we were split into random groups.  So there I was, sitting with a group of people who I (with three exceptions) have probably said about 10 sentences to in my life, and the speaker tells us to answer this question: If you really knew me you would know....
Ho. ly. Crap. I was scared, and I had no idea what to say.  We went around the circle, everybody obviously uncomfortably and not sharing anything deep...so like a brainless zombie, I followed suit and said, "If you really knew me you would know that I plan on spending at least another year in Honduras." Sure, this is true and it is important in my life...but it's not what I should have actually said. After the whole exercise was over, I thought of a list of things I should have said:

If you really knew me you would know that I believe in Jesus Christ and that he is the only way to true happiness.

If you really knew me you would know that I used to hate myself, but I don't anymore.

If  you really knew me you would know that I grew up without a dad because mine is an alcoholic and abandoned me.

If you really knew me you would know that I truely believe that we don't have many years left on this Earth.
So, If I really knew you, what would I know?

Taking the Plank Out of my Own Eye.

Today I was forced to think about all of the times that I have gossiped about other people without meaning it to be that way.  I have never considered having a legit conversation about someone gossip if you aren't saying anything bad or judging them, but today I found out how it feels to be examined like that.  Today I was informed that two people who I have no bad feelings towards and even talk to friendly all the time, talked about how I am a hypocritical Christian (If you read Ali's blog, this probably sound's familiar).  And, I totally get where they would get that impression, if they were only looking at my past (see Fusion talk). So no, I don't really blame them for having this impression, but it still hurts that they think that and would discuss with other people that that is what they think.  No, I don't think they meant for it to hurt me, they didn't mean to gossip, but that's what happened.
So, where do I go from there?  How do I show them that I'm not a hypocrite, that I was hurt by them saying I was?  Maybe I don't...maybe it's best to just drop it and let them think what they want, hoping that my actions speak louder than anything I might say. 

 "A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel." Proverbs 15:18 

I guess all I can do is focus on bettering my life by becoming more Christ-like and less human-like in the hopes that others take notice and understand that Christians make mistakes and have pasts too. So, no more gossiping for me...what about you?